How do you start putting your life back together after losing a loved one?

It's been a calendar month since I lost my best friend, lover and soul mate in a tragic motor vehicle accident, a car pulled out of a juncton and hit his bike, he was killed instantly. His lasts words that morning were 'love you, have a great day, see you tonight', smiling his wonderful dimpled smile. We had seventeen magical months of sheer bliss and I thanked my stars everyday that he was mine. He was perfect in every way and he had the abilty to touch the lives of everyone he met in positive ways, he cared deeply for others and gave so much of himself. So many people are grieving his loss and I am at a loss as to how I am supposed to carry on without him. I have had all the old sayings, time heals, life goes on and he would not want you to be sad, but none of it helps. Today I picked up a pair of his shoes and cried, today I finaly realised that he was gone for good and was never coming back, was it a step forward ?Because it feels like ten back.

How do you start putting your life back together after losing a loved one?
Yes, you took your first step today towards the reality that he is never coming back. Now, that does not lessen your pain, but time is the only thing that will ever do that. Allow yourself to grieve, and mourn. You lost the most wonderful person in the world to you. Don't set timetables, or have expectations when you will be "over" him. Go about your daily functions as much as possible, and if you need to cry, cry.....scream, whatever it takes to lessen the pain for that moment. Gradually, it will get better. Good Luck!!
Reply:So sad. I don't think anyone could read your story without being in tears. Life can be terribly hard.


I don't think time necessarily heals, but it helps. When you feel ready for it, join a reading group or a language class, or any such thing that suits you. You will then meet new people and generate new interests and concerns.


I wish you well.
Reply:I am very sorry for your loss. It takes at least two years to come to terms with losing the love of your life. Keep busy and make friends. Don't stay at home and feel sorry for yourself. People don't come to you - you have to go out and make new friends by, perhaps, joining a social group, a walking group is a good idea. I know from experience.
Reply:im sorry that happened. i know that you love him dearly but he has moved on to a better place. he wouldn't want to be your stumbling block and yes that is a step forward. i too have lost someone dear. you just have to keep pushing on no matter what life throws at you. good luck and may God comfort you.
Reply:time is a great healer. it took me 2 years to stop getting upset when my husband died. now i can talk about him and not be an emotional wreck. Have friends and family around that helps and try to keep busy.
Reply:Seek out your local Counselling service - CRUSE





0844 477 9400


helpline@cruse.org.uk


Open Monday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm


There will be help forthcoming from people who have had same experience.





They will not use cliche language and feed false promises.





I hope you find real help soon and YOU can get back to LIVING.





All my heartfelt best wishes to you and yours.
Reply:many people say time is a great healer but we are all different i lost my wife best friend and soul mate she was the best thing that ever happened and i never believed i could ever love again then a month ago i met a new love in my life and I'm really happy but I will never forget my late wife I will never stop loving her so I suppose time will help soften what you lost



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